Weather: Clear, but freezing cold

Mood: Peaceful

Listening To: Something Happened to My Heart – A’st

I have this thing where I always check the clock at 12:34. Doesn’t matter if it’s am or pm, just that almost everyday, I will look at the clock and notice it saying 1234 at some stage. How bizarre. Right now however, it’s probably more of a reminder that I should be unconscious in my bed.

Winter is not so slowly and absolutely surely creeping in. Minus degrees and all the rest of it, and already I’m sniffing and feeling slightly sick. Not ideal, considering exams are just around the corner. More of an indication that I should be sleeping properly. I promise I’ll leave soon…

First proper day of work was last week, and insane doesn’t even cover it. Children. Everywhere. And I can’t say I didn’t love it. It was tiring, both mentally and physically, and there were times when I felt so out of my element that I wanted to leave, but boy am I looking forward to having more shifts this week! Not entirely sure how much I’m allowed to talk about work outside of work to others though; privacy and professionalness and all, so I guess I’ll just leave it at this.

Hmm, so I wrote that I feel peaceful right now, but then with further contemplation, I think right now, I’m leaning more towards optimistic. Not so much peaceful, considering my nose refuses to let me breathe properly, and my stress levels for upcoming exams are reaching for a high tide. But definitely optimistic. :) The year holds so much in store, and I’m finally looking forward to it!

This might be slightly late, but 2013, come at me!

Settling into the new house has been great. Sometimes I find myself about to drive back to my old house, but so far I’ve managed not to. First one out of my brother and I to go back there by accident has to shout gelato so no way am I giving in! My carpet is the greatest shade of turquoise-y aqua, and the living room tiles chill my feet every morning, and there’s so so so much to get used to. It took me days to locate the box I packed full of essentials – underwear, clothing, my school books – and I used a rag as a towel cause no one would tell me the towels were now in the spare bedroom rather than the hallway closet and things are absolutely frustratingly… fun. Somehow. Except when I can’t find my favourite pair of boots. I still can’t.

First day of work was absolutely lovely. I cannot wait to be back there; the children, the staff, just the general environment; somehow I already feel loved there. I just hope I’ll be able to do this well. It’s unimaginable how tiring a simple 3 hours of work was though. I know, I know, I’m a bit of a princess. But by the time I got home, I was ready to drop dead on the floor, guests or not. And there were guests, and a delicious passionfruit cheesecake to keep me going. And endless amounts of K-dramas.

So it turns out not having internet was so much better than me than having internet. That caveman-style week of being disconnected from the cyber world, I managed to be so productive, to practice so much piano and read so many books. One week of internet and I’ve just about let everything slide.  I’ll pick up my game though, I will! After this drama…

But all in all, it’s as if everything’s changed since last year now. New house, new job, new school, new lifestyle, new freaking crazy amount of internet. It’s funny how swiftly, love it or hate it, life moves on.

Weather: Clear

Listening To: Stuck – Stacie Orrico

So, having devoured a bowl of scrumptiously crunchy grapes, and used up all my lives on the impossible level 199 of Candy Crush Saga, here am I am again; my last-ditch attempt of procrastination before I have to accept that my maths assignment cannot and will not magically complete itself.

It’s amazing how interesting things become, as soon as you have more important things to do. And unfortunately, room cleaning now feels like a legit way to spend all my time (yes, ALL of it – minus Candy Crush time…). Our house has had countless strangers walking through it in the past few weekends, and fingers crossed some of them will fall in love with it. It’s sad to think this house will be unoccupied for any long period of time after we move out. 18 years of living here, and the walls have most definitely developed personalities of their own.

My room is spotless as a(n unspotted) lamb, all my belongings packed in boxes in the garage, barring essentials like underwear and my toothbrush. In a way, it’s kinda nice, knowing exactly where everything is, and not having clutter everywhere. However… I miss all my stuff. My room is so… not me. Absolutely can’t wait to move into the new place; it’s so exciting to be able to choose the flooring; the carpet, tiles, wood panels, everything. Just hoping the rest of the fambam love it too, cause that could be… awkward.

In a way, it’s like the end of college again though. Before even leaving, I’m missing this place; excited for the new milestone, but not quite ready and it hasn’t even nearly sunk in yet. Every time I do anything, or go anywhere in my neighbourhood, I wonder if it’ll be the last time. Kinda depressing, aren’t I?

On the upside, we’ll be upgrading from our monthly 5Gbs of internet soon! Wheeeeeeee!

It’s amazing how many things you can discover in a room you’ve spent hours in daily for 18 years. I’ve used hours upon hours, including a  full night from about midnight until 7am, sorting through my stuff, packing it away so photographers could come in and show the world what a beautiful tidy room I live in. During this time I’ve rediscovered, amongst my hoards of junk, a box of all the cards people have given me over the years, from the time when my friends spelt my name as ‘Rebbeccer’ to last year’s birthday. Cutest are the handmade ones from Primary School, or maybe a heart shaped year 6 farewell card boldly saying [insert name] initially thought I was a goody two shoes, but was pleasantly surprised to find that in fact, I was actually ‘just like them (except maybe not as gross)’.

This is why I aspire to be a teacher.

I’ve also found, in the depths of my wardrobe a pair of pink camo sneakers that I don’t remember wearing in my life, a bag of feather boas and cheering pompoms, a Willy Wonka hat, a fluffy purple robe, and a range of other random bits and pieces. And then, one of my favourite discoveries…

Scrabbliciousness! :3

You may not be able to read the golden corner, but it says ‘the finest Belgian chocolate’. :D :D :D

Anyways, so getting ready to move and all is quite a walk down memory lane. Suddenly all the insignificant things about this house are sentimental and worth remembering, down to the fact that the rose bush out the back is the toughest plant in known history. (believe me, we’ve tried poison, uprooting, axing… everything…)

Even the thought of leaving the freaking birds that decide every Spring, that the top of our rolling garage door is an ideal place to nest…

Okay. I probably won’t miss them either. But anyways, the idea is that this is home.

It’ll be so strange moving out.

“Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy
Even when it’s not right

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try and try and try”

Probably a lot of you know it. Try, by P!nk. Though, I’ve been listening to a cover by Jayesslee. Such amazing singers, those girls.

Aaaanyways! Had a sick day today. Sick as in unwell sick, not fully sick bro sick. You know that feeling when you want to sneeze but you can’t, and you end up pulling terrible faces and your nose feels OMG so awful and the feeling just doesn’t go away until you actually sneeze? Well, I had that. Except it was with puking. I haven’t puked yet though, and I’m having trouble deciding if that is a blessing or a curse.

Maybe I’ll just stop thinking about it.

On another note, while I’m talking about the annoyances of today. So I thought to myself earlier: ‘Rebecca, since you missed a lecture and a tutorial for sleeping and bumming around the house, MAYBE you should do some work.’ And, being the good, diligent university student that I am, that’s what I did. I downloaded an online lecture and the corresponding Powerpoint and snuggled up to the laptop with a packet of Mamee noodles, and sat through 45 minutes of the 50 minute lecture. It was… not too bad. Not rollercoaster thrilling, but you know, tolerable. Pretty good in fact, for a lecture. Except that at the end, I skip through some of the Powerpoint, and the last page informs me that I don’t need to know anything from the lecture, except what was covered in the first about 2 minutes. Oh my life.

I guess, though, at least it wasn’t a bad lecture. I did enjoy some of it. A little. And, another upside is that despite the fact that yes, the hour was wasted, I still feel like I had been extremely productive.

Which is why I’ve now packed up all the rest of my work, and am instead blogging! YAY!

1. We bought a house. Oh yeah we did. Living on the very very edge of Canberra, it’ll be a relief to move somewhere more central. To be honest, ANYWHERE would be more central than where we are now, but our new house is in a very nice location. My excitement is at about 500% at the moment! Just to add to the amazingness of it, let me tell you, this is the first time I’ve ever moved houses. That’s right. I’m a bit of a freak. 18 years in one house. I must say, I’ll miss it a little too. All the childhood memories, and then knowing the surrounding area. I’ll even miss the tiny street we live on, the times chilling with friends in the car after they drop me off. We had hours worth of conversations there. I dare say, when I want alone time, I’ll probably end up back here, even after we move.

Packing up the house though, I’ve discovered so so so many things. Boxes of photos, and memory boxes too, filled with items which defined moments in my life. Old toys, old plushies, clothes that had been tucked away for years and years. It’s like walking through the past. Mum’s not too pleased with how slow I’m working though, since I stop and play with just about everything I find.

We’ve got to be all packed up by the end of the week, pretty much, so the pace must quicken. Unfortunately this week seems to be a week full of assessments and tests too. Again, everything has managed to pile up into a single week.

2. SYDNEY TRIP! Well, I just got back anyways. Seeing everyone again was.. just wow. But seeing a friend off at the airport… it was a wonder we all managed to hold in our tears. I’ll miss her a lot, but hopefully we’ll meet again, and in the meantime, we’ll play scrabble on our phones and Skype whenever we can. It seems like it’s getting easier to say bye, almost, after doing it so many times. But at the same time… maybe not.

3. A momentous part of my life. A turning point even. Or simply the beginning.

I can now say, I have watched all of Lord of the Rings. Well, not the Hobbit yet, but the trilogy. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all how amazing it was, cause most people have watched it by now, and if you haven’t… well, just do it. It’s worth 10 hours of your life, I promise. Just one thing though.

Words cannot express…

It’s not even that much of a boring routine, to be honest. Time passes, and then BAM! it’s another day. So mega apologies for not realising so long had passed since my last update! But to be honest, I have… not much else to say. 

I guess uni has been not too bad. Getting used to the freedom and the entirely too long walks across campus from class to class. The lecturers are nice, so far, and the workload is almost non-existent. 

Give me a week or so, and I’ll probably be here whinging about how I’m drowning in work though. ^___^ 

Weather: Mostly Cloudy

Mood: Not bad!

Listening To: Just Give Me a Reason – P!nk

Ling Ling Ling! I finally made them! Yay for Nutella mug cakes! Unfortunately, before I managed to take pictures of them, I’d already eaten them all…

The thing about microwave cakes, is that I’ve never made them before. Hence, I had no idea how much the cake would rise… which happened to be entirely too much. Okay, that might have been attributed to the fact that I put in slightly too much baking powder. Upon opening the microwave door after my first attempt, I was greeted by the sight of dripping cake bits from all over the interior of the poor little device…

However, on the upside, the cake tasted pretty great!

University starts so incredibly soon! Apologies for not writing anything in about a week; I’ve been so busy preparing and enrolling, and going to orientation week! Not that I did anything at orientation week bar eating free lunches and getting show bags. I’m now also a proud member of the Hong Kong Student Society and the Taiwanese Student Society and a number of other incredibly Asian sounding clubs. The excitement is building! And of course, there was the online fight to enrol in tutorials which fit my timetable well. Things have been quite hectic! Forgive me, dear readers, and fear not: I have not forgotten you!

I don’t feel ready at all for university next week though. It’s like I have a million things I still need to do:

- pack a uni bag
- figure out what I’d put in a uni bag
- acquire all the things I need for the uni bag
- find out what textbooks I need
- buy the ones I need, download the others
- sync timetables with everyone else, so I know when to find them
- fix my sleeping pattern
- sort out all the flyers and general junk I managed to get my hands on during O week
- a;ldfjka;lsdkfja;kfj; so so much more that I DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT

But hey, it’ll be alright, right?

HIT ME WITH ALL YOU’VE GOT, UNI!

Weather: Clear

Mood: A lot better than before!

Listening To: Big Big World – Emilia

First of all, a huge thanks to a group of friends who didn’t hesitate to remind me of God’s love when I let myself slip into sadness as I did before. Thank you so much. And for those who came straight to me to ask if I’m okay. I’m okay, guys, I promise I am! :)

I had a long talk to someone just a moment ago about optimism and how perspective changes everything. (Can you believe – the conversation was not even about me?) So I’ve resolved: I’ll be optimistic about university. Maybe not bubbly ecstatic celebration-style optimism, but I’ll look around for the uplifting aspects rather than letting everything else pull me down. Mainly what assures me and gives me joy is that indeed, a most glorious and loving God rules my life and is guiding me to the best place I could possibly be in. May I never forget that! (and another thank you to one who reminded me so.)

Yesterday was enrolment day. To be honest, it was rather exciting. I’m not a hundred percent certain I’m doing exactly what I want to do, but after talking to a few professionals, within the university and outside of, I know I’ll be okay. Things will pan out, they will!

Woooo! As for the rest, I promise; I’ll take a chill pill and not be so extreme. I find I’m very… dire in the way I write. Especially when I’m feeling emotional. Forgive me, dear readers! I’ll do my best not to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion as I often do.

So these past few days have been absolutely packed full of events. Getting back from the coast, and then straight away going interstate to meet with several groups of friends; I’m so exhausted right now. Heh. Then enrolments, of course, and tomorrow will be the first time I’ve ever gone to a multi-cultural festival here! Yaaayyyyy! I can’t wait; I’ve heard so many stories of dancing and awesome food and everything. If I remember to, I’ll take some pictures and post them up. You can all drooooool! :D

Speaking of food… this is a third of yesterday’s dinner. The healthiest of our three coursed dessert-dinner.

Step aside, my dears – obesity has arrived!

In case the picture isn’t speaking 1000 words, it’s a plate of mango ice cream, mango flavoured ice and mango lumps, and probably a lot of sugar and cream and other deliciously unhealthy foods. Life is good, so no more whinging! (at least for a while. ^^)

Time: 8:51pm

Weather: Cloudy

Mood: Afraid, stressed

Listening To: If You Want Me – Linda Chung

I just had another one of those moments.

You know the type when you have to make a decision and you look at all the options in front of you and realise none of them are what you want? And then you look back and realise you threw away exactly what you did want, even though it was pretty much all set out and ready for you? Something like that.

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. Every option now just seems like such a waste of time. 

And then I look at myself; how I am now, and how my life is, what I’ve been doing – what the hell have I been doing? What AM I doing with my life? 

Why am I such a mess? I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I should be doing, and I have no idea what is right and what is wrong, but I know I wish I’d chosen to leave. Maybe that will change after uni starts, I guess, but I’m dreading it. I hate the thought of it.

I feel like I’m being really pessimistic; the good things about staying are still somewhat together and existent, but why is it that only the cons of being here are in my line of sight? All I feel right now is the loss of what I could have had if I’d left. And the boredom, amongst other things, of having stayed.